I Am The Past and Now

Hi, Assalamualaikum :)

Salam Ukhwah (Greetings) to my dear friends. Thanks for reading and have spend some your time to read and leave your comments on the my entries before. Alhamdulillah and Syukran ya wa ya Ukhti (Thank you) to all of you. Hopefully the before this of my entries will provide useful info for you. Also a lot of thankful infinite eternity to my friends who always support and never fail to pray for my happiness and success. I just want to give my heartfelt appreciation for the friends and loyal friends advise and support me. Alhamdulillah ya Rabbul Izzati, Thank you Allah because You send a bestfriend and a good special one for bring me straight to Your heaven.

Okay, those are just narration only. Back on topic as set out above, I used to just mediocre. I am sorry if this new writing style is difficult to understand. Okay lets start with bismillah. I used a past refer to old of me, Aten. I know some of you must do not know who is Aten. Now, I want story about the past and the present of myself. What is the differences of the old me and the new me :)


Listen here guys, its not about my wish to open my own disgrace. I had gone through all this matter for about almost 21 years of living on the Earth. From a girl who disagreed, finding her own identity, to find strength in God's earth, find friends who help lead to heaven, to seek the pleasure of mom and dad, and last but not least, to find a future husband who will always accompany myself when I looking the light of life .
* there will be Aten used ' I and ME ' in this entry.

I used to just human error. Human deprivation and have a few of lack since childhood. Before, I was seen as a normal girl. Now might not normally as the first. Actually what I am gonna to tell is more to my appearance. If you see the first Aten is in normal like other girl. Put the rare hijab and I really liked to wear hijab whim just to see chest because I feels lazy to pin. You expose your chest know it, FORBIDDEN ! Allah, yes please forgive me. I love to wear sandals like the toilet slippers. Socks and handsocks, I does not touch directly but only wears it when necessary. Before this, I love to see women wearing the hijab like ustazah with covered her body with perfect clothes and I feel calmly in my heart and eyes to see it. Sometimes daydream if so how i looks alike religious teacher, that great. I just dreaming that time because my faith is not strong, but the intent is always there. Insyaallah.

Month semester break at home, I spend my time by watching youtube of  Ustaz Azhar Idrus talks , Ustazah Siti Norbahyah, practices and learn the chapters of household because my ummi (mother) already noisy. She told :

"  For your holiday in a month here, make sure you are learning about life after marriage. do the houseworks and learn cooking. Later there was no have a time, do not want to regret. Remember high until sky we studies, hold the title of prime minister, as a women , we must have in the kitchen because there is our place. Do not expect maid to do all the housework and cooking because wrong day of the month, your husband followed her around with a maid."

The text is certainly make me feels creepy and will never forget hear about fear chapters like this. Though sounds like a joke. But there is also rightly thinks mom told us because sometimes the mother 's mouth a salty know. So do not fool around with it.

Every night, I will be praying together with family and listening to religious classes from my dad, who served Tazkirah (religion motivation) somehow brought my heart to return to the path of Allah is true . Well before this, I had even left the order's Allah and His requirements. His advice I never forget until now is:

"Remember where we are present, as women , we got to protect yourself , your family and take care of the honor guard religion . Do not forget what God told and do not do what God has forbidden. Dad knew dad daughters all is well."

Honestly tears remembered this when ordering and groaning a father. I wonder if I am bringing my dad to hell and let the face of both of my parents galley hell out of it? Astaghfirullahalazim, keep them away from it O Allah. But Alhamdulillah Allah touch the hearts of me to changed be a better girl.

Allah has cast a feeling in the hearts of me to cover up my aurah perfectly. Actually no need to wait for the coming guidance as it is the duty. Nothing to lose and do good things for yourself. So I try little by little out of the house wearing headscarf cover my chest, hands and feet wearing socks , pants and loose shirts of Muslimah. There are also voices that say I looks schema , chunk size because all adopted .

But one thing I tell them :

"Never mind if I do not wear hijab and not looks cute when wears it under the chest , the shirt was not interesting to follow the development of fashion , wear socks see what is already outdated, I do not mind. But I feel sorry for my dad . I want to go to Allah's Heaven with Him. So I do not want to bother him in the afterlife. God willing."

Want to change is easy, but not as easy as what we want change (Istiqomah)  :)

Until now if I want to go to class, I get it to take a long time for prepared. Of course it was , to be adopted handsock , wear socks, wear shoes, scarves trailing again . If I want to go cafe or eatery under the complete range even if I want to go class. Roomate I always say :

" Miss Aten , we just want to go cafe only." I replied with a smile :

"You , there was a man near a a cafe. Wherever we are go we must looks at our appearance." 

* My father always thought and advice about this. syukran Walid ( thank you father )

Dad always careful about the appearance of her children because we are women . He was not to adopt or buy clothes that reveal body shape. The reason? We need to ask of faith in our heart. When I was this big, i think of all myself. I know my father have do the  best for me and my sisters. Thank Allah.

See. Time matured us.

At a time when everyone is rushing to follow the fashion of the modern world, I am here still with a normal lid. Not too much in the ornate but neat. I am comfortable and moderate in appearance so as not to attract people out there. May Allah preserve me. Far from tabarruj (arrogant) nature. No one of us can be fashionable, but must be provided cover ourselves and not overdo it.

But the show of decency and high morals a good Muslimah herself away from the beauty show . Beauty of the rights of God and the rights of the husband. So to preserve it for the right :)

I have to change drastically if I am not capable . I always do slowly try to change, but Istiqomah. If you want to be able to change all the better. May Allah  bless you with good change to do.
Human view of our mind because that is human. Some are good, some are not. We must know how to choose good friends and tackle human view of all kinds. We should be husnuzon (think a good to all) with everyone. Then the heart will be healthy and happy. We have always patient and confident, Allah is always beside those who are steadfastly believe.

My comment after migrating and change, Seriously I feel very calmly, happy and safely direct. I loss that I am not migrate. Even sadness very ignorant myself first. But I thankful to still have time to change before closing their eyes forever. Allah's love is so deep in the cover up. Alhamdulillah. To cover ourselves indirect our attitude will also be in line with our application. Polite must be worn an already sweet temperament just the visual. Indirectly educate the soul and thoughts towards goo . Besides that, the people will be respect to us and am no longer any person will wants to stir us after this. And a lot of thankful to my ummi and walid (mother and father) and also to my fellow friends fot the greatest supporters from the past to the present (new) of me. Thank God, may Allah be pleased them with love. Thank Allah for give all the persons who reall loves me because of You.

Alhamdullillah. Thank you

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